Trying to Become Whole with Half…by Chuck Kelley

One of the first things I do every morning is a blueprinting of my day, which includes goals, mind-sets, reminders and reality checks. I look for any potential road blocks, speed bumps and equipment failures that might cause me to take unnecessary detours or pit stops along the way. Below is an excerpt from an earlier daily blueprint.

What is today about?
PRACTICE RESPONDING RATHER THAN REACTING, FINISHING THE ARTICLE ON RELATIONSHIPS, BEGIN ONE ON PERSONAL ASPECTS, AND PROOF THE BOOK FOR PRINT ON DEMAND

Best accomplished by;
RE-CALL-ING WHO, WHAT AND/OR HOW I AM
LIGHT-HEARTED, FUN LOVING, AFFECTIONATE, ENTHUSIASTIC, HAPPY, LOVING, CARING, KIND, PLAYFUL, EMPATHETIC , I HAVE A CAN DO ATTITUDE, I OFTEN HAVE A MIDAS TOUCH, I AM OFTEN WELL THOUGHT OF AND I AM REGULARLY SOUGHT FOR ADVICE AND LEADERSHIP

RE-CONSTRUCT-ING WHO, WHAT AND/OR HOW I AM
BLENDED INTO A SINGLE, ACCOMPLISHABLE, PERSONAL ASPECT WHICH IS BEST DESCRIBED AS;

A TRUSTED FRIEND

Ok, in this portion of the blueprint I was attempting to discover the most advantageous mind-set for that day to go about achieving my goals. While I found this to be affective, it did seem…ah…lacking. I could pretty much remain upbeat, but only if I goosed it along. It was missing whatever it needed to become self sustaining, which blows, because that’s the whole point of doing that part of the damn daily exercise!

I worked with new adjectives, used different fonts, added pictures…it seemed that no embellishment would do the trick. Then I remembered about Full Spectrum! Like Newton’s 3rd Law – for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction, Full Spectrum states that one must possess the potential for the extreme polar opposites in each direction in order to claim any one specific aspect at all. So, if I want to claim that I am loving, I must be willing to claim that I am capable of the nastiest definition of hate. If I claim to have the aspect of caring, I must claim and be capable of extreme indifference. We cannot be one thing without being the other thing. Bill Gates and a homeless person are on the same spectrum of wealth, yet at opposite ends or poles. Every loving mother has the capacity of extreme violence. If you doubt that, invade the personal space of a mother and child you do not know!

So, re-awaken, I embraced the perfect paradox that we all are, and here’s how it looked.

WHEN THINGS ARE GOING MY WAY…

I am LIGHT-HEARTED, FUN LOVING, AFFECTIONATE, EXCITED, HAPPY, LOVING, CARING, KIND, PLAYFUL AND EMPATHETIC, I HAVE A CAN DO ATTITUDE, I OFTEN HAVE A MIDAS TOUCH, I AM OFTEN WELL THOUGHT OF AND I AM REGULARLY SOUGHT FOR ADVICE AND LEADERSHIP

WHEN EVERYTHING SUCKS…

I HATE BEING INCONVENIENCED, IGNORED, DISRESPECTED, MOCKED, JUDGED PREMATURELY, BEING FALSELY ACCUSED and/or PERSECUTED, CONTROLLED, REJECTED, DEPRIVED OF MY DUE AND JUDGED BY THE UNQUALIFIED. I CAN BE CRABBY AS HELL, PISSY, ARGUMENTATIVE, DISMISSIVE, INTOLERANT, PUSHY, EDGY, PHYSICALLY INTIMIDATING, A BARKER AND A BITER, A HIDER, A SHOW-OFF, INHIBITED, CLOSED OFF, BRATTY, POUTY, AND PROBABLY REPULSIVE UNDER CERTAIN CIRCUMSTANCES
RE-CLAIM-ING and RE-MEMBER-ING WHO, WHAT AND/OR HOW I AM

FULL SPECTRUM TIME!!!

I am; Light hearted and ARGUMENTATIVE, Fun loving and INTOLERANT,

Enthusiastic and DISMISSIVE, Happy and a BARKER and a BITER,

Loving, caring, kind and playful and CRABBY AS HELL, PISSY, PUSHY and EDGY,

Affectionate and INHIBITED, CLOSED OFF, BRATTY, POUTY AND

I HATE BEING INCONVENIENCED, IGNORED, DISRESPECTED, MOCKED, JUDGED PREMATURELY, BEING

FALSELY ACCUSED /PERSECUTED, CONTROLLED, REJECTED, DEPRIVED OF MY DUE AND JUDGED BY THE UNQUALIFIED …

Now I see the problem! I was attempting to live up to my very best, my most accomplished, ideal self moment to moment, 24/7, regardless of what the Hell was happening or in whose company I might be found. I was constantly busting my ass, trying to improve myself, trying to show only my most ideal and socially acceptable self, rather than embracing all of who and what I am.

Once I was able to recognize my mistake and finally stop laughing, I felt as if someone had lifted the entire weight of the planet off my shoulders. Somehow, I had become my own tormentor. Having habitually perceived that I was under the constant threat of “not being enough”, working so hard to become acceptable, I failed to recognize that all of who and what currently completes me is needed in order to build upon any of it.

I had been trying to become whole with only half of the ingredients.

In Full Spectrum we are rarely at the extreme poles of any aspect. Most of us tend to be somewhere in the middle range and slight experimental shifts in either direction is very informative. Living whole is so much easier, so much more fun, enlightening and freeing, it’s a huge relief and somehow all or most of our stuff begins to work. We only truly know what we have experienced…we have had to pay dearly for so many of our experiences…won’t it be nice to have our experiences pay us for a change? Full Spectrum is the winning ticket.

Chuck Kelley
Since his early teens, Chuck Kelley has tried to understand what makes us tick. Having had a troubled youth, he sought anything and everything that might assist him in getting his life together. Feeling universally misunderstood, he was determined to understand our nature and find some peace in his heart. Wanting to fit in while believing that he was totally unacceptable, he spent the majority of his life trying to become who and what he was not. The successes in business, the restaurants, the food manufacturing companies and all the other businesses he owned and operated, meant little to nothing to him because his accomplishments felt small when compared to certain others'. He felt that he was cursed to living a life of not being enough. Over the past forty plus years, Chuck has read practically every self help book, taken practically every self help course and tried an equal amount of self help programs. Along the way he has become certified in practically everything that hints of personal development, such as; Life Coaching, Neuro-Linguistic Programming and Hypnosis. In short, he is a walking, talking self-help clearinghouse. Now, he shares the things that work universally and he leaves out the rest. Having discovered that perfection is unattainable, and acceptance is subjective, he continues his research into every field that may lend insights into how to be more comfortable in our own skin and thrive in life. Embracing and openly admitting his perfectly perfect imperfections, "Because that's how I roll", has brought him more freedom than a massive trust fund. His wish is to save others the time, trouble and the wear and tear.
Chuck Kelley

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