RE-VIEWING AND RE-TELLING by Chuck Kelley
In our book, Who and What Owns Us, we stress the power of Beliefs, Teller-Vision, and Programming. Collectively, these three giants become the primary ingredients of our individual stories, even more so than the actual events. This sucks, because those three tend to be tragically flawed and because they serve as our chief operating systems.
In a very “real” sense we are what we have been programmed to believe about ourselves and that colors how we report our “reality” back to ourselves moment to moment. May that be positive or negative, according to German Philosopher Max Webber, our experience will always be flavored by, “I am not who you think I am; I am not who I think I am; I am who I think you think I am.” Measuring up, comparing, imagining how others rate us and feeling the effects of constant self-analysis and being micro-managed restricts our clarity short, medium and long term. We don’t have a clue about what’s cook’n!
Our interpretations of our experiences, accomplishments…our everything, will always be skewed to match the essences of the three giants.
Reviewing our experiences 1st person keeps up locked up. Even as we move into 3rd person, while it provides us a bit of distance from ourselves for a clearer vision; it’s still fully informed by the giants. The simplest solution is to create an unbiased 3rd party to handle our review and to re-tell our stories.
Imagine an article is being written about you. May it be about a single experience, a life’s work…whatever. The writer isn’t privy to your inner dialogue created by the giants; they will only be reporting the facts. Here’s a perfect example of a true story… (Which is where I got the idea to write this) about a guy I know who never experienced himself as others did. He had owned and operated 21 separate businesses. All successful, all substantial, all well known and well respected within in his market. He accomplished this and many other remarkable things before he reached his 35th birthday.
He felt like a loser. He was embarrassed by how little he had accomplished. He was ashamed by how far behind he was running. There were others who had accomplished so much more…who were more this and more that…no matter what, he would never measure up…never amount to anything…because the giants told him so.
He got out of the business world and explored other options. Constantly feeling like a loser, a failure and a fraud. Each day was an exercise in “don’t let em’ see ya sweat.”
I had him write out the events of his life from ages 25 to 35, the 21 businesses etc…minus his inner commentary. His reply? “Wow! WOW, I had no idea! I got a lot done…this sounds like a guy I’d like to know…and ask him how he did it”!
Re-View and Re-Tell from a 3rd party perspective, it’ll change your life!