RITE OF PASSAGE Vol.3               by Chuck Kelley

As long as we continue with closed off beliefs about all of the “supposed tos” and “oughtta bes” and “should bes” and all the other preconceived notions of and about life and its workings, we will continue running into brick walls.

I suggest that we all put away our subjective thinking as our GPS and trade it in for objective thinking. Subjective thinking is placing excessive emphasis on our own moods, attitudes, opinions, programming, cultural fantasies, etc… Objective thinking is, rather than being influenced by personal feelings, interpretations, or prejudice… it’s thinking based on truth, on facts, on what actually IS! When we stop arguing with what IS we finally gain the ability to create change.

This is easy to remember; Notice what it IS, acknowledge that it IS what it IS, and accept that it IS what it IS. Then, fully informed with the truth, we have the materials we need to renovate our piece of the structure.

It was later in my journey that I stumbled onto this. Most days had been punctuated with struggle because so little of what IS was how I believed it should be. My level of appreciation was pretty much nil, in my mind, I should have already had it, or something better than that or some other piece of less than positive judgment on it. Happiness is fleeting, at best, when we’re stuck in Fairy Tale Fantasy Land.

The stories we were told as children, those books and other forms of programming with the Hollywood endings corrupt our understanding of what IS. The STORIES we tell ourselves (continuously) about what is or isn’t happening can be extremely paralyzing, until we release ourselves to what IS true, rather than our imagining and opinionating…and waiting.

Life becomes simpler by letting it be what it IS, and working with that. There is a great book which shows us how to switch to the objective thinking process, called Loving What IS, by Byron Katie. She also has a ton of videos on YouTube. Making this switch may be the single most important action of your life…so, it IS time well spent!

Chuck Kelley
Since his early teens, Chuck Kelley has tried to understand what makes us tick. Having had a troubled youth, he sought anything and everything that might assist him in getting his life together. Feeling universally misunderstood, he was determined to understand our nature and find some peace in his heart. Wanting to fit in while believing that he was totally unacceptable, he spent the majority of his life trying to become who and what he was not. The successes in business, the restaurants, the food manufacturing companies and all the other businesses he owned and operated, meant little to nothing to him because his accomplishments felt small when compared to certain others'. He felt that he was cursed to living a life of not being enough. Over the past forty plus years, Chuck has read practically every self help book, taken practically every self help course and tried an equal amount of self help programs. Along the way he has become certified in practically everything that hints of personal development, such as; Life Coaching, Neuro-Linguistic Programming and Hypnosis. In short, he is a walking, talking self-help clearinghouse. Now, he shares the things that work universally and he leaves out the rest. Having discovered that perfection is unattainable, and acceptance is subjective, he continues his research into every field that may lend insights into how to be more comfortable in our own skin and thrive in life. Embracing and openly admitting his perfectly perfect imperfections, "Because that's how I roll", has brought him more freedom than a massive trust fund. His wish is to save others the time, trouble and the wear and tear.
Chuck Kelley

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