WALKING IMAGINARY LINES by Chuck Kelley
Many of us struggle in our efforts to move up into the next higher level of achievement, some of us are still stuck around ground zero. There are those of us who work, study and practice for years, honing our “specialty”, before we’re willing to go out there and compete in our chosen arenas. We may dabble a bit here and there, but we don’t really go for it…at all.
Surprisingly, perfectionism is only a very small element in this equation. The most universal definition of perfectionism is; the need to be perfect, or to at least appear that way. Our desires have moved us way beyond that.
Many of us, for various reasons, truly believe, way down deep, that we may never be enough, never actually measure up, regardless of our efforts, regardless of the countless positive feedback we’ve received from others. We feel doomed to mediocrity, shame, humiliation and embarrassment. Sometimes, it’s incredibly difficult to simply let ourselves be seen. So, paradoxically, we feel that we must accomplish feats that most would never dare. Average accomplishments won’t do. We must stand far above the masses!
We attempt to fool ourselves into believing that accomplishing our desires could lift us up; make us feel whole, acceptable, worthy…that we’ll finally be OK! It’s practically all we can and do think about…each day hoping we’ll somehow pick up that one missing piece of something that will be our key into the Kingdom of the Masters.
The main issue is that while we do sincerely desire to achieve our goals, what actually drives them is often quite startling. We, almost, believe that if and when we achieve our goals we will finally have a bold and lasting sense of massively positive self worth. Finally, the constant torment issued from within our minds will fall silent. We will have conquered the beast!
But, for our group, what actually drives our goals is the belief that if and when we do achieve them, it will change the opinions of all of “them”; the naysayers, the haters and doubters and we will finally be free! That is our Supreme Desire! To change their minds…To prove our worth and be released from these chains of unjust assessments! Which might really work…but, what happens if we fall short of the level of greatness that we deem is necessary to properly straighten these heathens out?
To be continued