SWALLOWING THE KEY by Chuck Kelley
We do this every day. We lock the door and swallow the key which keeps us trapped in the Dummy Loop, separated from our liberators, because, we continue to identify with our fragile little ego. Since it’s so fragile, we feel that we must protect and defend it at all costs, bolster it with bravado and place it high upon the mountain top. The lower our self esteem the higher the pedestal and the more intense the counterattack.
There’s nothing wrong with protecting ourselves, it would be insane not to. It’s a question of which self. I agree with Alan Watts, who says, “there is no ego, it’s just a role we’re playing. We are all trained actors, schooled in acting from birth on, molded into a dominate way of being…predictable behaviors befitting the role.” Alrighty then…
Our training, our upbringing, is actor training, we are being trained to fit into a role…we are the understudies. We’ve been made to believe that we are a specific somebody, one who already is who we actually are, but that is hiding within us and that we must find that one, the correct one, rather than all of those impostures who populate our consciousnesses who are “demons from hell” eager to sway us to the dark side.
We have remained troubled and unhappy, because we couldn’t find within us the role we’ve been forced to play and that creates a sense of falseness, which leaves us believing that we don’t know who the Hell we are! Regardless of the thoroughness or intensity of a search, something that is not there will not be found. Thus, a life of inner conflict and confusion follows until we come to grips with the fact that no actor can portray every role, especially when they simply are not suited to it.