Posts by Chuck:
New Love…Stories by Chuck Kelley
We think it’s the steak, but it’s the sizzle that drives us to action. In new love situations where information is lacking, we’ll go to the TellerVision, our inner storyteller, and crank that monkey up! Love is on the way!
His. Hers. HE is… SHE is…It’s all new! In the beginning, we are literally transported! Captivated and situationally hypnotized we invent stories elevating them stratospherically into a God or Goddess who smiles upon us from the mountain top. Or maybe that’s just me. That’s what I do. I make up stuff.
There are sooooo many benefits to doing it this way! Giving of ourselves 100% to the other is a given. Agreeing with their every everything is no question. Bending where we normally wouldn’t, who wouldn’t? Simply being in their presence is…I haven’t the vocabulary to do that justice.
From our intoxicated point of view; This…Perfect Being is…ah… Heaven. On. Earth. Of course, they deny any connection to the drift of our conclusions. But, we know better. It must’ve been a heavy burden they’ve carried to become who they are now. Yet, even still, while remaining incredibly humble, they provide us a private Utopia in which to live blissfully, everlastingly. Or until they summon the cheek to prove us wrong by behaving like normal people. You know, fucked up.
Now what? I’ll tell you what I do. I quit trusting them. I quit trusting them and I start watching their every move, like a Nighthawk! They are not going to get away with any more of that malarkey. I nip it! In the bud!
Who the Hell do they think they are trying to pull a fast one anyway? How dare them not live up to the bullshit I made up about them! People@#! Sometimes, I don’t know why I even bother. But, I do. You probably do, too.
Hope makes me stupid. A lot of things make me stupid when it comes to affairs of the heart. I am way seriously old enough to know better. Seriously. Nonetheless, at the slightest whiff of possible amour my brain contorts and I transform into a drooling loon. Welcome to my world. We’re probably neighbors.
It took me forever and then some to figure my way out of this mess. Time and time again, here one would come, I’d turn stupid, and off we’d go to the Funny Farm of Love. I’d be making up stuff about me, she’d be making up stuff about her, and we’d both be making up stuff about each other. You’d think the Heavens were about to burst wide open. You’d be wrong! Not one time was it Heaven or Heaven-like in any way, shape or form.
How could I have been so wrong? She seemed so angelic. Divine sweetness itself. When she gazed deeply into my eyes, I knew she was reading my Instruction Manual and everything was finally going to be ok. I guess she suffered with ADD, had poor retention, or something, because in no time at all she was treating me like a completely different kind of person. My soul is permanently impaired having witnessed her carrying on! If we hadn’t been up on a mountain and if I’d had a couple of more bars on my cellphone, I would’ve called my momma to get her opinion! No such luck.
Something had to give. I couldn’t take any more. This Roller Coaster heart shattering business had to come to a screeching halt. I was ready for a change! Except that, I was afraid I might not measure up. I was scared if she found out that I’m me, I wouldn’t be enough to hold her interest, much less anything else. When I feel this pitiful; anybody with a pulse and a limb or two who shows me even a hint of kindness would pretty much seem Goddess or God like. Damn, she might’ve been the one, too…
At last, through brilliant deduction, I deduced; if I could discover what makes me tick, then I’d know what makes them tick. Now we’re talking! Well, I am not even going to mention how many years that took. I’d dig out some info, try it, test it, keep the keepers, toss the tossers, rinse and repeat, ad nauseam, ad infinitum. Whew! Thank the stars I wrote it all down!
Demystifying myself to myself was every bit worth the journey. The continuing relief I experience is massive. I’m comfortable in my own skin and with who I am in the moment. Plus, having knowledge about the inner proceedings of others is extremely helpful and a hoot!
In the upcoming articles, we’re going to dig deeply into this love relationship thingy so that we can let it rip audaciously!
FLAUNTING OUR FLAWS vol. 2 by Chuck Kelley
So, as I was saying…if ya got it, flaunt it! It’s our flaws that make us interesting. Our differences differentiate us from the crowd, make us stand out and be recognized. Our flaws, our differences, our quirks, our _________… Whatever they may be, when embraced, endear us and display our courage and audacity to be vulnerable while being bold.
The flaws I’m referring to are those things that our conventional society frowns upon. It’s failing to maintain the current standards that are driven by all forms of media and perpetuated by the hypnotized masses. It’s the refusal to fall in line and resemble all of the others who Try So Hard to be just like everyone else. You know, those flaws that aren’t flaws. Let your freak flag fly!
FLAUNTING OUR FLAWS vol. 1 by Chuck Kelley
Most of us are hiders, over 70% of the population. I’ve spent the majority of my life hiding in plain sight and you probably have too. For me, it was appearing to be one way while desperately hiding its opposite, hoping that no one could see how hideous I believed myself to be. Sound familiar? Every spare moment, in cocoon, dedicated toward self perfection, fearing that chrysalis isn’t in the cards…
The roles and impossible standards that were assigned to many of us caused us to develop characters, personalities, to hide within for self preservation. Feeling so incredibly inferior, we believed that we had to project an image, a persona, whose capabilities surpassed those of the masses just to become acceptable. Projecting perfection or close to it, constantly having to maintain, protect and defend that image, while keeping others from seeing that it was all theatre, is soul crushing work…producing egomaniacs with inferiority complexes…time bombs.
Then the commercials, billboards and print ads served as constant reminders of how badly we’ve failed…TV, movies, books and games do the same. There’s no relief, no resting, no time out. No hope.
No hope of achieving the level of perfection that is asked of us, directly and subliminally. No wonder so many of us feel as if we’re losing our minds.
The funny thing is, though, when we slow down and really look at what we’re drawn to, inspired and compelled by, it’s significantly flawed people and stories about their lives and journey. Not the journey toward perfection, the journey toward self acceptance. When we have self acceptance the others either fall in line or we no longer care if they do or not. That is FREEDOM.
When we openly claim, as a matter of fact, our so called “flaws”, “shortcomings” and/or “limitations” we are instantly set free from any concerns and judgments surrounding them.
“Oh, that’s just me.” If ya got it, flaunt it!
DO-BE-HAVE by Chuck Kelley
So that the Future You does not suck and so that the Instant Gratification Virus is killed deader than a doorpost, we must shift our manifesting formula from Do, Have, Be to BE, DO, HAVE.
For example; Let’s say we’ve become sad because we’re lonely, we’ve lost the desire to go out and be among people, especially people we don’t know, we hate blind dating and we’ve heard all these horror stories about online dating…we’re just miserable and can’t see our way out of this. No matter what we do, we just keep having the same experience over and over again and we are becoming convinced that we will never be happy again. In this example, no matter what we do as who we are right now; a person with problems, doubts, and negative attitudes and feelings…that’s all we have to offer as a person, so, no we will never be happy, period.
What do we want in the above example? We want to have a relationship that will make us be happy. What would the other person want from us…what are we offering them, this person who is suppose to make us happy? Well…we’re a bit morose, we’d rather not engage in anything or with anyone, we’re opinionated, doubtful, negative…we’re just a ton of fun!!!
A great question sequence to ask ourselves is;
What do we want?
How will I feel when I get it?
How will I treat it once I’ve received it?
How will I feel in general, once I’ve had it for awhile and have faith that it will last?
What will I be like on a daily basis?
What will my life be on a daily basis?
How will this change me?
Who will this cause me to become?
THIS WORKS REGARDLESS OF THE DESIRE.
For example: Let’s say that I want $5,000,000.00. Once I receive it I’ll be so happy, relieved and excited, I’ll feel powerful and successful and unbelievably grateful! I’ll call everyone I know who would be truly happy to hear the news. I’ll treat my money with respect, keep it clean and organized, I’ll take my money out on the town for a great time and spread good cheer with it, I’ll work with it to help those in need, I’ll treat it as if it were alive and I’ll let my money know how much I appreciate all it has done and is doing for me, by staying positive, protecting it and utilizing it responsibly. Once I’ve had my money for awhile and I know that it’s real and that it’s here to stay if I treat it in kind, I’ll become more relaxed, unhurried, calm, very confident, more considerate and courteous and sure. I’ll be so thankful each day and I’ll find ways to share myself and money with others in ways that are respectful. I’ll wake up each morning knowing that no matter what, everything is ok, I can have pretty much whatever I want, I can go and do as I please… I’ll slow down and actually LIVE my life, a wonderful life. This has caused me to see with new eyes, who I was in the past would never have had these thoughts and feelings. This experience has taught me; when I begin to BE this person, I will DO what this person would do, instead of what my “old” person would and that alone will attract to me more than my wildest dreams and I will HAVE whatever I decide to have.
BE, DO, HAVE. Simple.
FUTURE YOU SUCKS TOO part 2 by Chuck Kelley
If you haven’t read the previous post; Stop, Go back, Read it, and then Return Here…you’ll be glad ya did and confused if ya don’t.
All of our purchasing habits are recorded through Credit Card and Debit Card purchases off and online. Servers, Search Engines, Amazon and the like are Bloodhounds, most websites have cookies that take note of our activities too…there is no escaping it. All of this information is collected and goes into our individual files. Ever wonder why items, events, activities, and travel destinations that we’ve shown interest in, suddenly become more accessible and offered through multiple sources…
Big Brother has our number and is playing us like a cheap fiddle!
Santa showed up and left each of us kids a key to the candy store!
Most people’s finances are in sad shape and much of the blame can be laid at the feet of the Instant Gratification Virus and strategic marketing which plays on our weaknesses. It’s brilliant really, because it seems to us as if we are the winners. We get want we want when we want it and with easy credit it feels like it’s free. It’s not. Nor or we.
As long as we allow ourselves to be sucked in by brilliant strategies because we don’t have one of our own, we are doomed to negative growth, frustration, and heartache. So, what’s a strategy we can use that will kill the Virus, pull us out of our rut, be more in control of our lives, begin to actually prosper, grow and establish ourselves so that we can finally have what we want to have, do what we want to do and be who we’ve always dreamed of being?
First, let’s glance at our current strategy thingy we’ve all been told will work and see why it doesn’t. We have been told if we work real hard and do all of the right things, we’ll get to be the one who gets to have all the stuff. Some of us have been told if we work real hard and do all of the right things and have all the right connections, we’ll get to be whatever we choose be. Neither of those combination work.
The strategy is BE, DO, HAVE. This strategy allows us to time travel…we make the Future be here now…we bring our Future Selves here, right now, so that we can effectively plug in the changes that will manifest our intentions beautifully. The reason Future You(s) suck too is that we don’t change in the Future…we change right now.
I will explain the process in the next post, entitled BE, DO, HAVE.